Happy birthday to me, it is not really my birthday of course but I got a present anyway (not from a person)

Yes yes yes, you have probably guessed it, I got a new shirt from the weird lady by the newspaper machine. Ha ha, I am just kidding, she does not really know me so she would not give me a new shirt probably, anyway that was a joke. You can probably tell I am in a good mood mostly, can you figure out why? Yes you guessed that it was not like a present in a box with wrapping paper, that time is over of course (Christmas is what I am talking about but also a birthday, of course though it is not my birthday but I told you that already). Okay anyway here is why I am excited, I finally passed the “learning driver license permit” test this morning! I am not even kidding, I have a little piece of paper that means it is “ok” for me to drive a car if some body else is with me I think! So maybe I will drive a little bit this week end so Samantha’s folks will not be so mad at me for a thing I will talk about in a little bit. But so anyway there is a little bit of not-so-good in there but every present is not perfect, like for example you get a sweater and it is nice, but it also is kind of itchy?

Anyway so I will have to tell you next week how it all goes this weekend when we go to the wedding thing in Cincinnati, remember I am a little nervous about these things:

• Dancing at the wedding thing after, I thought it was “during” the wedding but it turns out it is after at like a party thing called “reception”, anyway you can probably guess I am not a great dancer (I think I can do the “macaroni” dance probably?)
• Also about maybe driving a little bit, basically I only know about driving because of the stuff I read, I have not really had a driving “experience” yet with a real car, of course I mean one time when I was a little kid my dad would let me sit at the “wheel” and drive up the drive way of our house but he only let me do that a “couple” of times because one time I ran into a post, so anyway yes I am a little nervous about that but I think it will probably be okay because I do not think the “traffic” in Cincinnati will be too bad
• Also if every body in the car will talk to me, because we have to leave like 5 hours late because I forgot to ask off for work this afternoon, yes you can believe that Samantha was pretty mad at me, also I do not know if her parents are mad at me too but I guess they probably are so I am going to try to go to sleep in the car so I won’t have to feel bad about them not saying anything to me except “mad phrases”

Okay also you have to think about Monday, remember it is a holiday, it is “King Luthor Day” so the library is not open so I can not write on my blog web site on Monday is basically what I am saying. Also it does not make sense for that holiday, we do not have a king anymore?

Here is my super hero name, it is Captain Failure

Okay you can probably guess what I am talking about here, yes it is true, I FAILED THE DRIVER LICENSE TEST AGAIN (okay I am not going to type like that again, you have to hold down a button that says “shift” on it, I guess because you are “shifting” to the “capitol” letters instead, but anyway what I am saying it is kind of hard to type like that, but I did it that way so it would look like I am yelling or maybe just kind of talking loud and mad because yes I am mad about the situation). Okay here is the story about the 2nd time I took the driver license test (remember it is not really the driver license like I keep talking about, instead it is the “learning permits” test because it is just written down). Okay so here is the deal, remember yesterday I could not have time to get over there to the place because it was Laundry Day, 1st of all because of laundry Day there was no time because it is kind of far away, I mean it is not like it is in some other city, like for example Lima, but still it is a “ways” (it is not so bad when Samantha (she is my girl friend) could drive me over there but she has a “schedule” at the community college today for classes so she could not drive me over there today), 2nd of all I can not remember what the 2nd thing was. Okay anyway I tried to study a little bit yesterday because I already failed it one time so I tried to study the stuff I forgot but maybe I should have studied the other stuff too because this morning I rode my bicycle over there, you can bet it was kind of cold (of course it is January anyway). Anyway so I got over there and took my test, I wish Samantha had been there with me because I was no nervous, I think maybe she could have made me “calm” down, because the test took me forever, I wanted to be sure I got every thing right so I kept going back and changing all my answers just in case I got them wrong the first time. Is that maybe not a good “strategy” to take a test? I just figured I probably got the questions wrong so I wanted to make sure I would get them right so I changed them, but there are like 4 different answers so maybe I chose the wrong ones. Anyway so I missed stuff this time that I got right last time. Yes that is right, I got a worst score this time than last time I took it! There is only one more day this week that I can take it again (I am talking about tomorrow, tomorrow is Friday by the way if you are reading this at a later time or something, that means I am doing this on a Thursday of course). So you know what I am going to do, I am not going to study any more, I am just going to go in there tomorrow (again) and I am going to just write the test answers down whatever I think the answer is and we will just see what happens, I just do not care any more, I will probably just have to ride a bike the rest of my life.

I have not seen Samantha yet today, I am so embarrassed about failing the test again after she spent the whole weekend studying with me (well not the whole weekend, of course you have to eat, sleep, and so on). So I was really hoping I could get this “learner permit” so I could help to drive a little bit this weekend on our trip to Cincinnati for her cousin Brad’s wedding. We are leaving tomorrow afternoon to drive down there so I will probably just have a very short “post” tomorrow on the blog web site (this one I mean). Of course me and Samantha had to take the afternoon off tomorrow so we can do this thing for the wedding, which yes by the way there will be dancing probably so I am kind of nervous about that, I do not remember a wedding where you have to dance before. But anyway, oh shoot, I just remembered that I did not "ask off" work for tomorrow afternoon! Oh no, it is probably too late to get off for tomorrow afternoon! I was supposed to do that like 3 weeks ago or something. Well you will probably not see me tomorrow because I will be murdered by my girl friend probably.

I do not have a lot of time to type any thing today

So this is all I am going to write for my blog web site today, sorry. (No I did not take the driver license test today because I did not have time because it is Laundry Day, so I will do it tomorrow, I hope I can pass it so maybe I can drive a little bit this weekend on the wedding trip thing to Cincinnati, also I hope I do not "wreck" a car and kill people probably). the end

I am the biggest dummy in the whole world, yes I am a bigger dummy even that that one guy

You know which one I am talking about, he did a really stupid thing where he like was doing the “bungy” jump and he did not “fasten” the rope rubber band thing to the thing he was jumping off of and he just kept falling and instead of bouncing back up he hit a rock and died. So yes I am so dumb that even I can not remember the name of the guy that I am talking about or even if that really happened. Okay so you can probably figure out what I am talking about, yes it is true, I FAILED the driver license test (of course I mean really it is the “learning permits” test but you have to do good on that one before you take the real test where you get a driver license for real, it is too complicated I know but I am not a big expert on the Ohio law “system” for driver licenses and so on, anyway the point is 1st you have to get a “learning permit” before you can practice driving in a real car (it is like real studying) and then you come back and take a test where you drive in a car with a police or something, now that is a test I am so nervous about). Anyway but first things first, I am a big fat failure. Samantha and me studied on Saturday and I thought I had it pretty good (also we studied a little last night but it was while we were watching the “buck eyes” foot ball game so maybe I was not really paying attention very much, anyway they lost). Samantha said “who knows, you might get lucky” because now that I think about it maybe I did not have it down so good, like for example there is a question about a “car length” to keep between another car when you are driving a “certain” speed, I guess you are supposed to have number of car lengths between cars on the road or whatever, but every car is not the same “length”, also, how do you even know how long the car is, you can not get out and measure it to be sure. Also it does not matter because I know that everybody does not really do that, when you are on the highway or whatever people just drive right on the “bumper”, they do not have a “car length”. So why do they have to say one thing on the test and then they do another thing on the road. That means the test is stupid. But anyway it does not matter, I still have to take it and give the right answers, maybe I will try again tomorrow but I will have to be “crammed” tonight to figure out the right answers and so on (also I will have to just ride my “bike” over there because Samantha has a “schedule” at the community college, wait, tomorrow is Laundry Day so maybe I will study at the laundry place then I will go over to the place to take the test again). Anyway I know what I have to study because I know I missed the questions about alcohol “percents”, it did not even make sense, also I do not drink alcohol and so I do not know where to look on the bottle (sometimes a can too) where you can find the “blood percents” or whatever. So it is all a big joke, but you can bet that I am not laughing at it, is the kind of joke that is not funny, like for example the chicken is crossing the road but it gets hit by a car 8 times.

But I did get some new socks so I guess things are “looking up”.

Hey it is Monday, boring boring but at least I do not have to go to school

Here is why I am talking about school, it is because I was studying the whole weekend for my driver license test, it is a “writing” test where you have to write down your answers, it is not the kind where you have to drive around and also do the “parallel park” trick (I do not even understand that trick or what it means). Okay anyway Samantha and I worked all weekend studying her “flashing” cards she made, it turns out they did not flash at all which is what I thought she was talking about, I thought it was a way to help you “hypnotize” to learn faster, but it just means that she will hold them up really fast, she will “flash” them at me really fast and there is a question on there or maybe a picture of a sign that she drew on there, and anyway I have to tell here the answer or what is the sign, or something like that. So that is how we studied the driver license information. And I can tell you that I am so glad that I do not have to do this stuff all the time, I know Samantha has to study all the time for things at the community college. But it reminds me too much of school, which I did not really have a good time at school, I mean it was not all too bad but you have to say that it was not the most fun in the whole world. I always would sit in the back part of the class room if the teacher would let me, and that way they would not call on me too much, here is why: if the teacher would call on me I would get all nervous and I would forget the answer even if I already knew the answer and of course people would laugh at me. I remember one time in my “civic” class (it is generally about “legislatures”, which who knows what those are) we took a “pop quiz” and after it the teacher was repeating all the questions before we turned it in so we could check our answers but I was confused, I was not paying attention, and for some reason I thought we were checking our papers and I thought he wanted the answer so I raised my hand and he called on me and I yelled out the answer to the question he had just said. Of course every body laughed and the teacher was mad but of course it did not matter because my answer was wrong anyway. So anyway that is the deal with school, studying is not fun.

Anyway it all did not matter because we went over to the place today (remember it is Monday today) and it was closed! Why is a place closed on Monday, that does not make any sense? Maybe you do not like to give a test on Monday because no one likes to study on the weekend because they are taking a date or something? So I am kind of upset about that because I really wanted to take the test, I was so nervous and I just wanted to get it “over with” so now I have to be all nervous for another day (today). So Samantha and me are going to go over there tomorrow and I will try again to take the test, I will let you know what happens. I think I will do pretty good, I have the “flashed” cards with me so I can look at them when I am on break today, so tomorrow I will probably drive Samantha’s car to the library with my special permit I get after I take the test, of course she will have to show me how to work it, probably we will have to talk about the “gears” I think, also which of the things is the “gas accelerate” and which is the “break”. But after I figure that out I think I will be “good to go” I guess?