If I was an astronaut and I went to space I would probably somehow explode space and kill the universe

Okay so you are all probably wanting to know how it “went” yesterday with my big mission to try to get everything back to normal sort of with Samantha, I will not go into every thing that happened all this week, you just need to know I screwed every thing up “royally” (that is what Mark says at work, he does not say “screw up”, instead he says “screw up royally”, no I do not know what it means exactly but I think it is worse than a normal “screw up”, if that is true then yes I screwed up “royally”), this girl wanted to be my girl friend (in fact she thought she was my girl friend), the thing is I have never really had a girl friend (no, DeDe does not count) so it is a “tragedy” that I guess I kind of had one and I did not even know it (it is because I am a goof ball). Anyway so I followed the plans that people on the “comments” told me, it was basically this: a sorry card, flower, a candy (“fancy”), and to say a bunch of things (basically “I am so sorry and so on, please be my girl friend blah blah”), I could not remember everything so I made a “print out” of the stuff that you guys said so I could just read it to her (just too nervous). Okay so anyway yesterday after writing my blog web site at the library I went over to the Great Scot to get all of this stuff, yes, they have all that stuff (even they have some flowers). So I got some flowers, I do not know what kind they were but they looked pretty good I guess, they like had a green paper wrapped around the bottom of them. Also they had some cards, so I got one that said “sorry” on it (it also had pictures of flowers on it, it is “double flowers”). Then I had to get some kind of candy, I remember one time she said some thing about coconut so I got her one of those candy bars that has coconut in it (it is called “mound” I think?).

So that is what I did, yesterday, so I will just give you a hint how it went: I am just glad that our store does not sell guns (except nail guns, that is a different situation, they shoot nails not bullets or whatever), anyway here is the “run down” of what happened. First of all I started to have a problem before I ever got to work, hardly before I ever even got out of the parking lot of the Great Scot! I had the flowers and every thing in one of those grocery bag that is plastic with handles, not the brown paper kind, anyway it was hanging on my “handle bar”, of course and handle slipped off when I was riding on the street and of course the flowers fell out and went under my back wheel. So you can imagine they were pretty much ruined, I wasted all the money I spent on them! I stopped to look at them but they were basically no good. At first I thought maybe I could go get some more but 2 problems: 1, I did not have enough money left to get more, and 2, I had to get going to work anyway or I would be late. Okay, that was okay I thought, I went ahead and put them back in the sack, maybe I could do something, I did not know what. So on to work, I got there and clocked in and hid the stuff in my locker until I could figure out when I would be able to talk to Samantha when we were by our selves. I have to say at the time I was pretty excited, I had the paper in my pocket and I took it out some times to just remind me of what was on there, I was all ready to do the thing. I was going to have a real girl friend (again, but this time I would know it). It took a while of course, I had to do my work and she did too, she was already there when I got to work and of course she was avoiding me like always but then later I saw her going back to the break room for her break so I took my chance to get back there, it was “now or never” (a saying). So I got back there, I was kind of shaking I was so nervous, not used to that thing, but anyway I went in there to the break room, she was sitting at the table drinking a pop and looking at a magazine or something, so I got the stuff out of my locker and went over to the table. (I am going to try to remember every thing we said, it will not be exactly the same, it is “summarize”.) Of course she said “well I guess I am done with my break now” or something like that but I told her to wait because I had important thing to talk about, to say I am so sorry for every thing, so she waited a minute I guess. So I said “well I got you some flowers but I had a little situation”, I pulled them out and showed her but even though they were messed up I think she maybe liked them a little bit for some reason, I guess girls like even messed up flowers probably. I guess that went okay, but then this happened: I said “I got you a candy” and I gave her the “mound” candy. Then she kind of got mad a little and she said “Brian I told you I can not eat coconut, I get sick” and then I remembered what she said about the coconut, it was not “I like coconut”, instead it was “coconut makes me throw up”, but I just remembered some thing about coconut. It is “strike 1” (like base ball), she gave it back to me, I said I was sorry about that, I was confused, but I am very sorry so I gave her the card. Here I had 2 big problems, 1, I forgot to get “envelope” for it and I forgot to sign my name on it, it was just thrown in the sack, that was a small problem because 2, I just saw the “sorry” part on there and bought it but it turns out I probably should have read it close. It did not just say “sorry”, instead it said “sorry about loss” or something, it was basically like if some body dies. Okay she was not happy about that, she said “why did you get this card for me Brian, it does not even make sense, what are you talking about”, she just threw it on the table. That is “strike 2” so you know what is coming maybe. So this was all I had left, so I said “okay I know I screwed that up, I am not doing any thing right” then I pulled out the paper and I started to read it, it said things about I am sorry and so on. But before I could read too much of it, she stopped me, she said “what are you reading there?” I did not really know what to say, I said something about the internet. Samantha said “you got your sorry talk off the internet?” Well I tried to explain about Mary Ann and Shannon and the internet comments and I kind of had to tell her about my blog web site, I did not want to tell her about my blog web site (it is “secret”) but I was no nervous I had told her every thing about my blog web site before I even knew what was happening. She just sat there for a minute then she said (kind of loud) “you are talking about me with some girls on the internet? What is wrong with you Brian?” and she ran out, I think maybe she was crying a little too?

So yes, it is “strike 3” (that means I am “out”, I have to go to “dug out” and just sit there I guess). So I just threw every thing away and went back to work, yes even the “mound” candy because I do not like coconut either.

Okay so yes, I have some how made every thing a lot worse, now I think Samantha hates me so much she would probably hit me with her car (no, she would not do that, she is too nice). Of course now she knows I have a blog web site maybe she will come and look at it, what am I going to do now? I do not think I can ever fix this now, it is totally broken royally. So maybe if she comes here to my blog web site she will read the comments (how do I know if she comes here, is there a way to know?), anyway please be good if you leave a comment, maybe you can “put a good word” for me?

Samantha I am sorry for every thing I ever did basically! (this is for if she comes here to read this since she will not talk to me ever again for the rest of her life)

It is the "mission of life time", I mean I have a big thing to do today

Yes you guessed it right, today is the day when I am going to fix every thing that happened between me and Samantha. If you do not know what I am talking about, like for example you are here at my blog web site for the first time and you read the thing at the top of the page where it says about my adventures in Findlay Ohio, yes that is what I usually talk about here but this week is a little different, not really adventure-talking this week (like for example in the past I have talked about things that have happened to me, usually it is about weird people or crazy people that I meet, I do not know why for some reason there are lots of crazy people in Findlay, Samantha says they are not crazy they are “interesting”) (that is what she used to say when she was talking to me anyway). Okay anyway here is what I am talking about this week: I am a big fat loser (not really fat, it is a “saying”), here is why: I said a really stupid thing to my best friend the other day, she is Samantha, and I guess she thought that maybe we were a date couple, you know what I am talking about like when you are boy friend and girl friend, you are “going together”? But I did not think that was “the case” but I guess that is what she thought (how could it be “the case”, for example we did not kiss, also she did not say “love love love” all the time like on TV). And of course now she is “up set” with me, she will not talk to me at work (we work at the same place), she will not pay attention to me at all (she will actually move across to the other side of wherever I am). But anyway I am getting “off the subject”, here is the point (I keep saying that a lot): Samantha is my best friend, I guess maybe I can be her boy friend if that is what she wants, I want to hang out with her and watch movies and so on, and so I guess it would be kind of cool to have a girl friend who is very cool and stuff too.

So here is the plan, a bunch of people on here have made “comments” about what I can do (yes I should have listened to them in the “first place”), so I am getting ready to make the plan work the right way this time probably. So I have to get to the store before I go to work today, Samantha should be there and I will do the plan just like you said, people from my blog web site! I have to “pick up” these things:

• Sorry card
• Flower
• A candy

Then I will give them to Samantha and say the words you guys put in the comments, I even made a “print out” here at the library so I would not forget, usually I get nervous and I would forget, I would probably forget and say something stupid, like for example I would say “hey Samantha what is the deal with why babies cry so much” or probably something stupid like that that does not even make sense. So “wish me luck” on the mission please.

Also here is another thing, I think I use too many “commas”?

No time for a thing today, okay maybe just a little one

Yes I am coming over here to the library on my break, very short time for writing on the blog web site, so just a little “post”. No things are not any better with Samantha if you are wondering, you can guess that she will not even talk to me. Also I am pretty sure the “situation” at work is this: it is not just that every body knows about what happened with Samantha (I mean the stupid thing that I said and ruined the whole world, read the things under this one to know what I am talking about), the real problem is that I think every body is mad at me. You see before this thing every body liked me at work, they called me “Speedy” (nick name), always saying “hi Speedy” or even “hey Brian” depending on who it was, for example Samantha never called me “Speedy” (of course now she does not call me anything because she will not talk to me at all). Anyway but every body really likes Samantha too even though she has not been working here very long (I have been there a very long time, I mean years), but I guess she is more like a “friendly” type (it is not that I am not a “friend”, I just get nervous around people some times and so it is hard for me to meet new people or things like that probably) and so every body really likes her a lot. So every body thinks I am a “jerk” (mean). So you can guess it is not great at work right now, so I do not mind coming over here to the library on my break time to do this very quick.

Every body on the comments here is right, like for example anonymous and Shannon and Mary Ann, you are all right. So maybe tomorrow I will try the plan you are all talking about with candy and flowers maybe? I need to go to the store tomorrow (no time today you see) and I have to try to remember to get a “sorry card” and a flour and maybe a candy bar I guess? Of course how will I talk to Samantha alone, she will not even look at me or talk to me?! I don’t know what to do, I guess I will try to do all these things that you people are telling me to do. I will be honest though, I do not really understand how these things will help, it is like a recipe for a cake that I do not understand how to eat.

No it is not getting any better, thank you Brian for your dumb action

So I guess probably you are all wondering how things went yesterday at work, well first you have to know that it was not a great “weather day” here in Findlay, it was just cold and all gray, even a little tiny bit of snow (not a lot really, it was just “flurry”, where it is not even on the ground any more), anyway my point is it was a day where already you are not in a good mood because of the weather and then I start to think about what happened over the week end and I just would feel worse (if you do not know what I am talking about I guess you can read the one post I put here on my blog web site yesterday, it basically this: I said kind of a stupid thing to my friend Samantha, I guess you could say she was my best friend, anyway I messed up every thing). So I went to work yesterday at the store, you can probably guess I was not too excited about it, it is not that I do not like my job, it is just fine and I am pretty good at it (I should be because I have done it for a very long time). Anyway I was not so excited because I knew that Samantha was going to be coming in later (she works later on Mondays because of her “schedule” at the “community” college, she has classes at a certain different time or something), also because Valerie was going to be there and I knew things would be all weird with her too because she was there when I said the stupid thing, she probably knew I screwed up too. Yes it is true, she did. She was back in the break room when I was “clocking” in and putting on my apron thing (it is a thing we have to wear, not the cooking kind, don’t worry), anyway she said “hi” to me, but that is really all she said. I know she did not say she knew what happened but I think she did because she kind of had a weird look, do you know what I am talking about? I guess it is a “girl power”, because Anita kind of had that same weird look whenever she was looking at me (Kristen was off yesterday but I bet she will have that weird look too, she will be working today so I will let you know). Even Mark knew about it! Later he was helping me with some big boxes of paint or something, anyway he said, “I heard about Samantha, dude that is cold”. I did not even know what to say, so I just kind of said “yeah I guess so” and did not say anything else. So yes, every one in the world knows I am a big fat stupid head who hurts people’s feelings (I mean just Samantha really), yes, even in the comments here at my blog web site the “anonymous” says yes, I am a big “screw up”. Maybe I will check the “Findlay Courier” news paper, maybe it is “front page” or something! But it is true, anyway the worst part is coming.

Yes the worst part is when Samantha came in later after her schedule classes or whatever (I do not really know how the whole community college thing works, remember I was thinking about maybe going over there to “take classes” or something, now I don’t know if I can do that, Samantha was going to help me out). Okay anyway so I was a little nervous you can probably guess, I basically just tried to work in the back as much as I could but eventually Zach told me I needed to take a pallet of fertilizer out to the lawn and garden area (that is where Samantha works), I tried to see if some one else could do it but it was impossible. So I was out there unloading the pallet and Samantha had to walk down the aisle where I was working, so I said “hey Samantha” (there was nobody else out there, kind of a slow Monday as usual). She just stopped and looked at me, I did not know what to say, I just said “um, so what’s up anyway” or something like that. She said (okay here is the bad part, it is pretty close to what she said, it is kind of hard to forget, you will see why) anyway she said “why did you do that to me, you should have just told me when nobody was around or something, why did you have to say that in front of Valerie”. I said to her “I’m sorry Samantha I did not know” but I guess I was too quiet or something, and she said (this is even worse) “you made me look like an idiot Brian, do not even talk to me”. And then she walked away, she did not even look at me the rest of the day, she did not even say a word, actually now that I think about it nobody really said any thing to me much the rest of the day until close, just kind of whatever they had to say, like for example “hey Brian can you copy these keys” and stuff like that, it is not “hey Brian we should go to lunch at a restaurant this weekend” (actually that is something only Samantha would say) (not any more I guess).

So anyway I rode home on my bike after we closed, it was cold and dark, very lonely (today is the same). So there you go, I guess I need to get to work. Samantha will be there, I wish I could just go home where I will not screw anything up. Maybe tomorrow I will have a laundry adventure that is just crazy crazy or something so I can write about it on my blog web site and not about this, like for example maybe there will be a funny thing at the laundry place such as a crazy man wearing underwear on the outside or something, that would be pretty good I guess? (Instead I will probably burn down the dryer or something.)

“Houston it is a problem” (remember they said that in a movie)

It was the movie about when the guys went to space and the space ship like blew up, it was a serious problem probably, anyway they were just fine (if you did not see the movie I hope I did not “ruin” the movie for you, still it is pretty good, you would probably like to watch it). Okay anyway here is the point: last weekend there was a situation which I think is maybe a problem (that is why I said the “line” from the movie).

Okay let me “back up” a little bit, remember I think I told you about last week how me and Samantha were going to go iceskating on Saturday, also remember I was a little nervous about it because I am not so good at skating on the iceskates (here is the thing, maybe if you do not know about these, they do not have wheels! Instead it is a little metal piece, you have to try to “balance”, not easy you can guess). Okay anyway so me and Samantha went over there to the recreation center (here is a weird thing, now they are calling it “the cube” instead of the recreation center, I do not understand that, it is not really a cube, it is the kind of puzzle with the little squares I think?). Okay anyway I have to say it was not all that bad, yes it was kind of cold, I guess I did not realize that it has to be so cold in there, it was even colder inside there than it was outside (it turns out you have to keep it cold I guess because if you do not do that the ice will melt or something, then it will be a swimming pool instead, ha ha not really). But anyway yes I fell down a bunch of times, I think it was about 6 times, so if you guessed 6 times that I would fall down you are the winner (actually I do not think any body guessed any thing, so whatever). Okay so the iceskating was really not all that big of a deal I guess but then after we were done (and let me say that man oh man my ankles were very sore, actually they are still sore a little bit, it is not like regular skating, I think I said that already) anyway after we were done we went to a pizza place, it is something about Chicago (a city), anyway the pizza there is pretty good, it is so think it is like a cake sort of (that is the kind we got). So a kind of weird thing, when we sat down at the table Samantha did not sit “across” the table, instead she sat on the same side of the table as me, but it was not really a too weird thing because I guess I just thought maybe there was a pop spill over on the side or something, yes it happens. Well so it was kind of hard to talk to her when she was sitting on the same side, you have to turn your head (not comfortable). Okay so anyway we were sitting there eating and talking and so on and who should come in but Valerie, she was with her mom and dad I guess (they looked like mom and dad “types”), also some little kid, I guess it is her brother or something, I do not really know. Anyway she saw us and she came over and she was talking just regular talk, like for example ‘how are you guys doing” and things like that. I said something about how we went to “cube” for iceskating, and Valerie said (it is almost exactly like this, what she said, I remember) “so you guys had a nice date right, you guys are so cute together, Samantha is the perfect girl friend for you Brian” (pretty close to what she said). And then I guess I realized, every body thinks Samantha is my girl friend, it is just like every one is saying in the comments on my blog web site! And then here is the real problem I think: I said “but Samantha is just a friend, she is not my girl friend”. Valerie looked kind of surprised, she said a few other things, then she went to go eat with her family or whatever. But here is the thing, Samantha was all quiet, she would not say anything except finally she said she wasn’t hungry any more, could we just go. So we did. She did not say much the whole way back to my house, except when we got there I told her I had a good time today and all that and thanks for the ride and so on, and she just said “whatever Brian, bye” and she left. I think maybe I hurt her feeling some how, I know I did some thing wrong, I may not be the smartest guy in the world (obvious) but I know I did some thing wrong, I think maybe I hurt Samantha’s feelings. I am thinking about it and maybe I think you people are right when you left the comments on my blog web site where you said that Samantha thinks we are “going together” as boy friend and girl friend, why did I not listen to you? I really like to hang around with Samantha, what did I do, what can I do to make it like it was before (now it is all weird). Oh man, I feel kind of sick a little bit in my chest, I really messed things up I think?