If I was an astronaut and I went to space I would probably somehow explode space and kill the universe

Okay so you are all probably wanting to know how it “went” yesterday with my big mission to try to get everything back to normal sort of with Samantha, I will not go into every thing that happened all this week, you just need to know I screwed every thing up “royally” (that is what Mark says at work, he does not say “screw up”, instead he says “screw up royally”, no I do not know what it means exactly but I think it is worse than a normal “screw up”, if that is true then yes I screwed up “royally”), this girl wanted to be my girl friend (in fact she thought she was my girl friend), the thing is I have never really had a girl friend (no, DeDe does not count) so it is a “tragedy” that I guess I kind of had one and I did not even know it (it is because I am a goof ball). Anyway so I followed the plans that people on the “comments” told me, it was basically this: a sorry card, flower, a candy (“fancy”), and to say a bunch of things (basically “I am so sorry and so on, please be my girl friend blah blah”), I could not remember everything so I made a “print out” of the stuff that you guys said so I could just read it to her (just too nervous). Okay so anyway yesterday after writing my blog web site at the library I went over to the Great Scot to get all of this stuff, yes, they have all that stuff (even they have some flowers). So I got some flowers, I do not know what kind they were but they looked pretty good I guess, they like had a green paper wrapped around the bottom of them. Also they had some cards, so I got one that said “sorry” on it (it also had pictures of flowers on it, it is “double flowers”). Then I had to get some kind of candy, I remember one time she said some thing about coconut so I got her one of those candy bars that has coconut in it (it is called “mound” I think?).

So that is what I did, yesterday, so I will just give you a hint how it went: I am just glad that our store does not sell guns (except nail guns, that is a different situation, they shoot nails not bullets or whatever), anyway here is the “run down” of what happened. First of all I started to have a problem before I ever got to work, hardly before I ever even got out of the parking lot of the Great Scot! I had the flowers and every thing in one of those grocery bag that is plastic with handles, not the brown paper kind, anyway it was hanging on my “handle bar”, of course and handle slipped off when I was riding on the street and of course the flowers fell out and went under my back wheel. So you can imagine they were pretty much ruined, I wasted all the money I spent on them! I stopped to look at them but they were basically no good. At first I thought maybe I could go get some more but 2 problems: 1, I did not have enough money left to get more, and 2, I had to get going to work anyway or I would be late. Okay, that was okay I thought, I went ahead and put them back in the sack, maybe I could do something, I did not know what. So on to work, I got there and clocked in and hid the stuff in my locker until I could figure out when I would be able to talk to Samantha when we were by our selves. I have to say at the time I was pretty excited, I had the paper in my pocket and I took it out some times to just remind me of what was on there, I was all ready to do the thing. I was going to have a real girl friend (again, but this time I would know it). It took a while of course, I had to do my work and she did too, she was already there when I got to work and of course she was avoiding me like always but then later I saw her going back to the break room for her break so I took my chance to get back there, it was “now or never” (a saying). So I got back there, I was kind of shaking I was so nervous, not used to that thing, but anyway I went in there to the break room, she was sitting at the table drinking a pop and looking at a magazine or something, so I got the stuff out of my locker and went over to the table. (I am going to try to remember every thing we said, it will not be exactly the same, it is “summarize”.) Of course she said “well I guess I am done with my break now” or something like that but I told her to wait because I had important thing to talk about, to say I am so sorry for every thing, so she waited a minute I guess. So I said “well I got you some flowers but I had a little situation”, I pulled them out and showed her but even though they were messed up I think she maybe liked them a little bit for some reason, I guess girls like even messed up flowers probably. I guess that went okay, but then this happened: I said “I got you a candy” and I gave her the “mound” candy. Then she kind of got mad a little and she said “Brian I told you I can not eat coconut, I get sick” and then I remembered what she said about the coconut, it was not “I like coconut”, instead it was “coconut makes me throw up”, but I just remembered some thing about coconut. It is “strike 1” (like base ball), she gave it back to me, I said I was sorry about that, I was confused, but I am very sorry so I gave her the card. Here I had 2 big problems, 1, I forgot to get “envelope” for it and I forgot to sign my name on it, it was just thrown in the sack, that was a small problem because 2, I just saw the “sorry” part on there and bought it but it turns out I probably should have read it close. It did not just say “sorry”, instead it said “sorry about loss” or something, it was basically like if some body dies. Okay she was not happy about that, she said “why did you get this card for me Brian, it does not even make sense, what are you talking about”, she just threw it on the table. That is “strike 2” so you know what is coming maybe. So this was all I had left, so I said “okay I know I screwed that up, I am not doing any thing right” then I pulled out the paper and I started to read it, it said things about I am sorry and so on. But before I could read too much of it, she stopped me, she said “what are you reading there?” I did not really know what to say, I said something about the internet. Samantha said “you got your sorry talk off the internet?” Well I tried to explain about Mary Ann and Shannon and the internet comments and I kind of had to tell her about my blog web site, I did not want to tell her about my blog web site (it is “secret”) but I was no nervous I had told her every thing about my blog web site before I even knew what was happening. She just sat there for a minute then she said (kind of loud) “you are talking about me with some girls on the internet? What is wrong with you Brian?” and she ran out, I think maybe she was crying a little too?

So yes, it is “strike 3” (that means I am “out”, I have to go to “dug out” and just sit there I guess). So I just threw every thing away and went back to work, yes even the “mound” candy because I do not like coconut either.

Okay so yes, I have some how made every thing a lot worse, now I think Samantha hates me so much she would probably hit me with her car (no, she would not do that, she is too nice). Of course now she knows I have a blog web site maybe she will come and look at it, what am I going to do now? I do not think I can ever fix this now, it is totally broken royally. So maybe if she comes here to my blog web site she will read the comments (how do I know if she comes here, is there a way to know?), anyway please be good if you leave a comment, maybe you can “put a good word” for me?

Samantha I am sorry for every thing I ever did basically! (this is for if she comes here to read this since she will not talk to me ever again for the rest of her life)