I do not know what the heck I was thinking when I decided I was going to cook a special dinner by my self

Here is why: it is because I am an idiot. Okay remember last time I was talking about how I was going to take it “easy” on the weekend and just maybe hang out a little with Samantha (remember she is my girl friend), also remember I was talking about how I had a big plan to try to make like a big nice “gourmet” (yes I had to look up that word on the food internet web sites so I would know how to spell it because as you can see it is “obvious” you can not tell how to spell just to say it, it is weird to me because why do you not say the “t”? I guess it is the same kind of word where like on those certain words there is a “P” at the beginning but still you do not say it, those do not make sense either, why do you put letters in a word if you do not even say them? But you can guess I would not be a good “english” teacher probably), okay anyway I kind of got “off a track” there, I was talking about how I was going to make a kind of nice dinner for Samantha and we were just going to hang out and then maybe bake cookies or whatever (it seems to me that is the kind of thing you should do for “holiday” occasions, I am basically just guessing on that, I mean my “holiday” occasions are not probably like most people’s, it is not like dad and I would sit around and bake cookies and wear Christmas aprons with a picture on them of a snowman holding a spoon and he is smiling with the little dots on his face (coal) making a smile picture. What I am saying is dad was not a big “baking” fan, of course a lot of times at the Christmas holidays occasions he would get those round can things of “buttery danish cookies”, do you know what I am talking about, and those were pretty good, but anyway what I am saying is I do not really know how real people do Christmas. But my idea sounded like a pretty good idea I thought, so I recorded on my VCR a show with that lady on the food channel who is kind of short and cute (like I said do not say any thing to Samantha that I think the cook lady is cute) and she talks very fast and giggles all the time, she says “yum yum” all the time or something like that, do you know who I am talking about? Well when she cooks it looks pretty easy so I thought I could do that too so I was going to write the “recipe” for her cooking creations, but here is the part where you can see that I am an idiot: there is no way I can cook like the cute lady, here is a list of reasons (with dots of course):

• She has a bunch of pots and stuff, I only have the one pot and the “not stick” stuff inside it is all torn up
• She uses some food thing called a “pro shooto”? it kind of looked like ham a little probably? I do not know where you would even find that stuff
• This lady also was always using some yellow clear stuff from a bottle called “EBOO” (she spelled it every time so you would know) but I do not have any of that stuff, I do not even know what that is either
• She used olives and I do not like those things at all, I mean they look like they would be so tasty, they look kind of juicy and shiny and so on, and you think “oh man I want to eat a whole bowl of those things” and then you put one in your mouth and it is not like what they say “there are parties in my mouth and every one got an invitation”, no instead it is like “there is a party in my mouth but everybody there hates you so do not even bother coming, you should just eat pizza at home”, I would rather drink a glass of fat man sweat than eat an olive, so anyway I basically do not like olives

So I watched the whole show and at the end I was thinking there was no way I was going to be able to make all that stuff, I would probably burn the whole place down or Samantha would eat it and would “breakup” with me right there, she would say “Brian you must hate me with this horrible dinner so I am going to date another guy, maybe Mark or something” (he is at work, I do not think Samantha wants to go out with him, it is just an example).

Anyway it did not matter because Samantha called me and said she wanted to go to the mall to get a candle so we just did that and then we ate some hamburgers. Anyway there were not any olives at the hamburger place so that was okay I guess.