Oh lord somebody please help me I am a “laundry thief” victim

Yes you are reading right I am a “victim” of a crime, yes right here in Findlay Ohio! I am so mad I can not even “see straight” (it is a thing that Samantha says, most of the time she is saying it about me! Ha ha, just kidding kind of). So anyway remember today is Laundry Day, just like all Wednesdays are Laundry Day (the day I take my dirty clothes to the Laundromat and wash them, although I have to admit they are not all that “filthy”, it is not like they are covered with mud like I am a person who lives in the mud and eats mud and has a mud house, they are not that dirty is what I am saying but still you have to wash them, if you do not they are “rank” smelling, that means gross). Okay so anyway I did all my laundry and everything, wash and dry, usually I have to do a couple of “loads”, it will not all fit in one, also you do not really want to wash your towels with your “wearing” clothes, it is not a good idea (laundry tip from Brian). Also here is not a good idea: getting your clothes stolen by a laundry villain! When I was folding my clothes I could not find my favorite shirt (green, it has “long” sleeves and also blue and white stripes across the front of it, it is just too cool is what I am saying). Where is it?! I looked in the dryer, I did not even leave it in there, so where is it? There is only 1 answer, here it is: THEFT. There was a lady in there, the lady that always cries, maybe she has a cousin or a boy friend or son or whatever who is “just my size”, so she took my favorite shirt for a Christmas gift for that “special someone”. I did not see her do it, actually now that I think about it she left right after I got there so probably it was not her. Anyway I do not know who did it. But my favorite shirt is gone and I am kind of depressed about it, life stinks. Why does a thief have to steal my favorite shirt instead of money? (Actually I did not have a lot of money anyway to steal, mostly quarters. But anyway I can get more quarters but where will I get that shirt again? Answer is nowhere.)

Also there is one other thing, I hope Mary Ann and Jonathan are not fighting over my movie review of the super-spy movie from last weekend (it is about poker gambling, also murder), like for example Jonathan thinks it is a good thing so he will know if he wants to spend the money if it is a good movie, but instead Mary Ann thinks I “spoiled” the movie, which is not true. I did not even tell that the lady died!